Authenticity Hangover.
I think I made this phrase up (but if I didn’t please tell me who did so I can credit them). I define an “authenticity hangover” as the after effect of not being yourself.
Have you ever woken up after a night out with friends or acquaintances, felt a bit of dread, a lot of tired, and couldn’t put your finger on it but just felt totally off about the night before? That is an authenticity hangover.
This is how it shows up for me. I might notice I am trying to be the funniest person in the room, or the most interested, or put myself in conversations that I can’t actually hold but want to be included, or wear an outfit that is not comfortable because I wanted to fit in with everyone else. Or I drink too much, or will buy the next round for the table when I didn’t even want a drink. Sometimes, I even sidestep my own values just to show up for someone else’s.
Now — because I know exactly how I show up, I can sense when this is coming on and ground myself. In conversation, I will put both feet on the floor and try to feel my sitting bones into the chair. If out with friends, I will put my back against the bathroom stall door and feel my heels into the floor and take a few breaths. These small, subtle moments help remind me that just being myself is actually all I need to do.
I invite you to discover how you show up when you are not being yourself. What does that look like for you? How do you act? The more aware you are, the more you can work with yourself on it.
