This week I went back to Al-Anon for the first time in 2 years. I didn’t have a commitment to Al-Anon previously or even a regular practice of going. I went a few times, found reasons to make it “wrong” and stopped going. I told myself I was doing more work than my husband on his sobriety and therefore found a reason to resent Al-Anon.
Well, shit hit the fan and I no longer had a reason to make it wrong. Despite the facts staring me in the face I still refused to go until a friend insisted we go TODAY. She left me without excuses and I got my butt up and went.
This story does not end with God coming down and telling me I am now healed after going to one meeting. There are no ah-ha moments to epiphany. This post doesn’t even have an ending…it is just a new beginning.
Going to the meeting felt like I was treading through molasses but it was the kindness of a friend who went out of her way to get me dinner so I couldn’t use that as an excuse not to go that kept me going and kept me honest.
I didn’t speak but I listened, observed and admired everyone’s shaken honesty. No one in the room was okay, but they were all working to being okay in their own way. Many didn’t know how the tough things they were dealing with would turn out but they were all somehow prepared to handle it and knew that they will be okay, no matter what the outcome.
I walked away feeling hopeful and knowing I need to do the work to go back and just sit and listen even if I am not ready to have voice. This system has kept people on a path toward serenity for years and i’s not my place to judge it.
If you are hurt by someones addiction, whether it is active or not, you can contact me at jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com to chat.
