When you assume what someone thinks, you are showing them that you actually don’t care what they think.
I have learned over and over to assume nothing. I assume nothing. I ask questions. I clarify things that had a good amount of clarity — just to be sure. I will have a conversation until it is dead. I am ruthlessly transparent. If I feel a weird vibe, I ask about it (because it’s probably just me…).
When we assume, we create thoughts and feelings for others. When we ask, we are able to understand the actual truth of the situation (not the story we created in our head).
We also show the other person that they matter, their thoughts matter, and we aren’t going to tell ourselves what they think – they get to do this.